by James Meikle
Well folks I seem to have found a just the right mixture for my home made anti-paranoid delusion drugs. I’m feeling as well balanced as tight-rope walker and as calm as the Sea of Tranquillity. Gone is my sense of impending doom and unhealthy obsession with the threat of a robot apocalypse. The underground bunker has been mothballed, the tinfoil hat has been hung up for good and the hamsters have been released back into the wild (with a greatly improved skill set I might add).
My inspiration for this epic turn around? The Consumer Electronics show in Nevada. Each year loads to top consumer electronics manufacturers get together to showcase the best and the brightest of their new product and prototypes. This year was no disappointment with some awesome looking ultrabooks, tablets, phones and TV’s standing out from the crowd.
However, there was one piece of tech that really caught my eye. We may still be waiting for hoverboards, flying cars aren’t parked in our driveways, but we finally have one of the most greatly anticipated pieces of future tech conceived by man… motorised shoes. Yes my friends, we’ll soon be strapping motors to our feet and terrorising pensioners as we whizz down to the shops. Check out a video of the nippy new product:
Ooohhh, looks cool doesn’t it. I like the way this Peter Treadman (what an ironic name) guy thinks: build it because it’s fun, build it because it’s cool, build it because it could be used as part of a superhero costume. Someone give this lunatic unlimited funding and a crack-team of top engineers; I’d love to see the weird and wonderful nonsense he’d come up with.
While I do love the idea of these motorised shoes, maybe they’re not entirely practical. Peter seems to float around gracefully, but the following video shows that getting the hang of a pair of SpnKiX could be a little tricky.
After watching that I got around to thinking how Peter and his SpnKiX would fare in a battle to the death with a bad-ass villain. My conclusion was that Peter would end up a very admirable, but very dead inspiration to wannabe heroes worldwide. Upon encountering stairs, uneven surfaces, gravel, mud etc. our plucky hero would find himself in a rather dire situation.
However, Peter should still be applauded for his vision of a world with tech’d up heroes making our street safe. If you watch the first video again you’ll see that Peter aspires to fly, to move really quickly and to shoot laser beams out of his eyes… Wait a minute. He wants to turn his eyes into destructive laser cannons? That sounds rather threatening, dangerous and maybe even…villainous. Stop the press! I retract my previous statement about giving this guy a unlimited funding and a crack-team of engineers; we’d all end up oppressed and under the shiny, bright red spinning heel of a terrible tech’d up megalomaniac super villain.
It’s off to the lab for me. I suspect these meds’ may still need a little work.