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What to do when you have no signal

by Debbie Clarke

Can you remember a time when you weren’t attached to your mobile phone? If your mobile has become an integral part of your life, so much so that it is basically an extra limb, then like me you probably have a nervous breakdown anytime you find yourself in an area with no signal.

If you often find yourself doing the “please can I just find one bar” walk, which looks something akin to walking round and round with your phone outstretched as if holding your phone further away from your body makes it more likely to grab that one bar you so desperately need to send your text message, then you clearly suffer from “nosignalaphobia”!

Unfortunately despite the UK having quite reasonable network coverage there are still many areas where a strong mobile signal is hard to find, scary I know but it’s true! But don’t be scared, with a little preparation and a few simple suggestions you need never fear NO SIGNAL again.

First things first, preparation! If you are to conquer the lack of signal you need to know when you will be without said signal, well never fear, we have compiled a handy map detailing some of the worst areas for mobile signal in the UK:

Now if you have somehow managed to find yourself frequenting one of the areas depicted on our map, don’t worry! Here are some suggestions for what to do when you have no signal and you just HAVE to make contact with the outside world:

Carrier Pigeons – Stuck up a mountain? Hiking in the Yorkshire dales? Got no signal on your mobile? Why not send your message via Carrier Pigeon? Did you know that in some of the most rural areas it is faster to send information via Carrier Pigeon then it is to use broadband? The only downfall is that you have to raise your handy little pigeon before you can get it to deliver messages for you. But then you will have your own cute little delivery service at your disposal! And after Carrier Pigeon the next step is magical Owl surely?!

Use a Phone box – Now this may seem like a silly suggestion, but I promise these do still exist even if we never use them! Why have we forgotten about the humble phone box? That’s right, because we have mobile phones, but if you’re in a nice little village somewhere in the lovely British countryside and can’t get a signal why not get a feeling of nostalgia and make a call old school style with the good ol’ phone box. If you need something extra to give you up push to get into the box, you could always pretend you’re Superman, just don’t wear your pants on the outside, it’s really not a good look!

Message in a bottle – Are you surfing on a sunny beach in Cornwall or fishing on the Northern Coast of Scotland? Chances are you may be struggling to get your message heard! In this instance why not send a message in a bottle? Possibly not the most effective solution as there is no guarantee your message will reach the designated recipient BUT there is always the chance of a Hollywood movie style romance when your message is found by a tall dark handsome stranger in a far flung tropical paradise!

Instant Messenger – If you have your feet firmly planted in the digital age and all of these suggestions are far too eclectic for your liking, why not try instant messaging. Now not all poor signal locations are far off rural villages in the middle of nowhere. In London despite the great network coverage available, all those bloody buildings, undergrounds etc. can make finding a strong signal difficult. But something else London has a lot of is Wi-Fi hotspots, they are even planning to trial Wi-Fi on the tubes! So why not pull out your laptop/smartphone/tablet, whichever gadget has become your extra limb and use instant messenger to send a message to another computer or even to another phone. Simple!

Does this sound all too familiar? How do you cope when you can’t get a signal? Let us know in the comments section below!

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